Announcement

Bladio Blogio would like to announce a New Weekly Feature called the Ready Consumer. As some of you know, I like to find out about new products and try them. I like to consume (literally) and evaluate:

-- Snacks on the go

-- Savory food at restaurants (across the spectrum: fast food, average sit-down, fancy, etc.)

-- Savory food at home

-- Sweets (mass-produced candy, ice cream, etc. and also artisan baked goods)

-- Appetizers

-- Take-out food

-- Beverages (alcoholic and non-)

I also like to try out (but not literally "consume" because then I would puke) other consumer goods including:

-- Bath and body (some would call these "at-home spa") products

-- Household cleaning items

-- Fun electronics

-- Home office supplies

-- And more!

This weekly feature (I'm not sure yet which day of the week it will be) will be a place where I review different foods and products. This will also be a forum to discuss advertising of the aforementioned products, because I can appreciate good advertising (can't you?) but I absolutely loathe stupid commercials. And I'm not afraid to say it.

If you would like to ask the Ready Consumer a question to be answered in a future post, please email consumerblade @ hotmail.com (but remove the spaces of course).

Here's an example of a question I received last week.

Q: Blade, what do you do for lunch over there in Bellevue? Does your office have a cafeteria or what?

--Loppy Loojna

A: I know what you're thinking. You're envisioning a big group of loud office workers going to TGIFriday's in the peaceful wonderland of the Eastside, drinking fruity boozy drinks and laughing so hard about that email that Soobian accidentally sent out to the whole office saying that he pooped his pants or whatever. Well I’m sure that happens at some places of business, but not at mine. But that's ok. Really it is! Because the people I described above sound like a bunch of phonies.

Anyway back to your question, "Loppy Loojna". The place I work does not have a cafeteria. I usually eat at my desk. When I am being careful about what I eat, I usually heat up a Lean Cuisine in the microwave. But lately I have either been getting my lunch at Whole Foods (which will be the subject of its own post someday) or Taco Bell.

Taco Bell, how retro! you're thinking. Perhaps, like me, you haven't eaten there since about 1997. Well I can tell you there are lots of positive changes at Taco Bell recently, so much so that all I can think about is Taco Bell! At 9:30 in the morning (did I mention that I don’t eat breakfast so I'm hungry for lunch really early?), I am thinking about Taco Bell. When am I thinking about Taco Bell? Morning Noon and Night.

Sometimes I dream of the Taco Bell of my past. You remember, way back when. When I was like eight, I knew a family that went to the Taco Bell at 72nd and Dodge every Sunday after church. I was so jealous! Sure my dad was cooking up pork loin and fried chicken and steak and all sorts of magical meals that I took for granted, but here was this family eating at Taco Bell!!! My parents did not believe in Taco Bell. The only time we got to eat fast food was when my dad was out of town on business, and then we would go to Burger King or Arby's.

All that changed when my junior high friend Brooke and her family took me to Taco Bell and introduced me to the Mexican Pizza. I hope you have all experienced the joy of the TB Mexican Pizza. If not, please go eat one now. Anyway I don't remember how this happened but somehow I described this to my parents and then shazam! my parents were converted to Taco Bell. Keep in mind I think the only thing they've had there to this day is the Mexican Pizza. But that is still a step ahead for them.

My trip down memory lane does not last too long, except for a summer during 6th grade or so when my sister worked at the neighborhood pool, and she would get off work at like 10 PM and come home and we would watch re-runs of Twilight Zone and Mannix on KPTM Fox 42 (this was before Fox was a full fledged network; all they showed was old re-runs and Elvis movies) and every night there was this TB commercial with a huge tomato rolling by and the accompanying jingle featured these lyrics: "Hello, Taco Bell!" but my sister and I would sing "Oh hell, Taco Bell!" and then we would laugh really hard. That doesn't actually involve the FOOD though, does it? Golly, Loppy Loojna! My answer to your seemingly-simple question is getting away from me!

Anyway lately I'm obsessed with Taco Bell. I recommend the Crunchwrap. This is a new product I saw on a TV commercial in June or July. I hadn't been to TB since, as I said above, 1997 or so, but this commercial got me going there again. They sure knew what they were doing with that ad!

The TB I go to doesn't have it on the drive-thru menu so you better write it on your hand before you go. It's a flour tortilla. They pour nacho cheese on it. Then they pop a crispy yellow corn tostada on there. Then they put on "ground beef" and other traditional taco toppings such as lettuce and sour cream. Then they fold it up like a flying saucer and you eat it! Yum.

(Note: FW got one of these with beans instead of sour cream because he has a horrific aversion to sour cream. He wasn't too hot on it. Do you think this is because he altered the magic ingredient combo? Or is it not a good product? Or is he just lame? Or what?? Well this is a blog so if you have an opinion of course – please post a comment.)

I am getting tired of writing about Taco Bell. I never thought that would happen! Anyway I also like the Double Decker Taco Supreme (that's the Shaq taco, eh JJS?) and the Nacho Cheese Chalupa! This is a chalupa, which is like a taco but with a fried flour tortilla instead of a corn shell, and there is liquid cheese holding the "beef" together!

When you are thinking about going to Taco Bell please remember the food is not good for you. It's full of fat and calories.

Yours in consumerism,
Blade, the Ready Consumer