A Watery Childhood

When KWW and I were children we were obsessed with water.

First let me tell you a bit about the history of kww and me. Our parents became friends while she and I were in our respective mothers' wombs. And we have been best friends since about age 4. That is almost 30 years! Our parents had become friends through church. kww and I never went to the same school but we still hung out a lot. When we were kids one of us would go play at the other's house after church almost every Sunday. We would also spend the night at each other's houses sometimes. Then in our driving years, one Friday every month we would go to Julio's (CHEESE DIP yum) and then rent 2 movies.

The Burglar Alarm
Anyway our obsession with water began innocently enough when we were about six or eight I suppose. One time when I was spending the night at kww's, we decided to set up a burglar alarm to catch anyone who came into her room. We had a couple of methods for this. One was to tie a string between the two twin beds in kww's room. If a burglar came in to get us, he/she would trip over the string, fall, and wake us up. We tested this for awhile by pretending to trip and fall but soon we were just running and jumping over the string. kww had particular difficulty because she was wearing a long nightgown and it would get snagged on the string.

We took a break from the burglar alarm idea to invent an experiment where we could find out if we moved while we were sleeping. We put a cup of water on the headboard, tied a string around it, and tied the other end to my toe. If I moved my foot in the night, the cup would tip and water would fall on my head, awakening me. Then I would know that I had moved during my sleep.

During the creation of this experiment we realized that tying a string to a cup of water might also work for our burglar alarm so we went to work. My memory is a little fuzzy as to the evolution of this advanced burglar alarm, but I think one version had the cup of water sitting on top of the rafter in her room, with string around it, and the other end of the string tied to the door knob. We tested this out - what was supposed to happen is that if the door opened, the cup of water would swing on the string and splash the burglar in the face and disorient him/her. And we would be alerted from our sleep by this ruckus. This version didn't last long, because it didn't work very well.

Our next version was much more successful. We left the door open a crack, then put the cup of water on top of the door, leaning on the door frame, so that if someone came in, the cup of water would fall from its precarious position and land on the burglar's head. This, I think, is probably a more traditional burglar alarm. We tested this several times and it worked very well.

Again I'm a bit fuzzy as to when kww's brothers, R and D, entered the picture. I would think that during the invention of this burglar alarm, they were already asleep, as they were younger than us. So perhaps it was the next day when we called them into kww's room and the water would land on their heads. This proved to be great fun and we played "Burglar Alarm" for hours. kww's parents must have been napping during this, because as far as I know, they never knew about "Burglar Alarm" despite the sopping wet carpet in kww's room. The boys figured out how to avoid getting wet by banging the door open and running really fast through it, and actually getting through before the water landed. However kww and I disapproved of this and insisted they move at a leisurely pace.

I think we played this game every time I was over at kww's for months and possibly years. I don't know if her parents ever knew about it.

The Tire Swing
This next watery tale has a sad ending. At kww's house there was a tire swing. When it rained it would fill up with water. kww's parents had a big party one Memorial or Labor Day when all the families came over. The tire swing was full of water from previous rain. kww and I thought it would be really funny if someone happened to be lying under the tire swing and then the swing got swung and the water got all over the person. We engaged her innocent brother D to be our victim, er, particpant. D was probably about 4 (?) at the time. Which means we were about eleven.

We made D lie down under the tire swing while kww and I swung the swing back and forth, hoping that the water would spill out. Unfortunately, no matter how violently or high we swang the swing, no water came out. Eventually the only solution was to stop the swing, and tip it upsode down onto poor D. D was extremely unhappy about this! He was soaked to the bone. He was very upset, to put it mildly, and went to his parents for comfort. kww and I got into big trouble by said parents. She probably got into even more trouble after I left.

The pièce de résistance
Our water obsession culminated in one final hurrah that occured on a Sunday afternoon. We decided to get kww's brother R very wet. No, he hadn't done anything to deserve this. (Neither had D, in the story above. We just liked to get them wet, and it wasn't to be mean, I think we just thought it was funny.)

kww and I opened her window, which was the traditional kind where you slide the pane up and down (as opposed to the kind you crank and they open out, like a door). We went into the front yard and got out the hose. The hose at kww's house had a really cool gadget on it, I can't think of what it's called, but it's like a gun where you squeeze the handle and the water shoots out with extra pressure. We stood below kww's window and shouted, "R! R! R!"

He came to the window and we squirted him full force with the hose. For some reason, as soon as he either saw the water coming, or after it hit him for about one second, he backed away from the window. This left me very frustrated because the point of this whole thing was to spray him for a long time until he got really wet. (When I think back about this, like, why in the hell would a person stand there while we sprayed them with water?) We shouted, "R! Come back!" (As if he would?!) and suddenly the world stopped.

Do you know why?

Because we heard this: "kww!" in a VERY ANGRY tone.

It was the voice of her father, who I felt was a very scary man in general (I don't think so anymore, don't worry kww) and extremely extra scary when angry (not that I'd ever seen that before).

kww's father appeared in the window and we dropped the hose. "kww! You are getting your room and your TV all wet!"

Oh we were so busted. However, I don't recall any specific ramifications other than my heart stopping when kww's dad appeared in the window. Once again, I suppose they occured after the naughty guest had gone home.

I know what you're wondering. Were we both holding the hose? Or just one of us?

Well it was only one of us. But you will never know who. Because later that day, kww and I signed a blood pact (we picked one of my scabs and both used my blood. Even Henry the miniature poodle signed the blood pact with her paw print. Not with blood though, just with ink) swearing that we would never tell. And we never have!

Stay tuned for more Adventures of KWW and Bladio, including but not limited to: The Frizzle Game (starring Zelda the Moon Lamp), Hot Lava, Hot Blood / Cold Feet, The Kidnap Game, and the Martin Luther Musical.