This Freaks Me Out Bad

[Warning to the queasy folks: there is some gross medical talk at the end of this post. But Tina, there are no knives.]

You know how there are so many things to worry about in the world? If you choose to, that is. There are the old stand-bys such as earthquake; plague; bird flu; terrorist attacks; emperor penguin attacks (those things can be 4 1/2 feet tall which is almost as tall as me, plus they live in the wild [survival of the fittest, anyone??] and have the devil in their eyes!); running out of gas or getting a flat on the 520 at rush hour; "getting lockjaw on the bus" as my college friends used to say; tsumani; plane crash; gunned down in the mall parking lot; someone putting roofies in your drink at the bar; high cholesterol; death, sickness or injury of friends and family; stolen laptop; prejudice and human indecency; what if our kid becomes a murderer; stolen credit cards, identity, etc.; George W. Bush; becoming homeless; getting lost in the woods; seeing the devil behind some bushes near your house; getting stuck in the subway turnstile with tons of people pressing against you, shouting angrily; totalitarianism; sitting in the middle of a large, achingly quiet theatre and you have to go to the bathroom but there's no way you can get out without making a big ruckus and pissing everyone off; passing that point where you've drank way too much and you can't go back; genocide; spraying a criminal with pepper spray but then they grab it and spray you instead; teacher shortage; your dog "puking up a piece of her intestine"; environmental issues such as global warming and depletion of fossil fuels, etc.; how horrible junior high will be for your children and how you can't do anything to stop it; sinking ferry and you're trapped in the car, drowning in Puget Sound, pounding on the car window with your fist, wishing you had bought one of those little car-escape poking sticks; poverty; seeing an alien and having to try to talk them out of abducting you; possible national macaroni and cheese shortage; how will you get those shelves home from IKEA, they won't fit in your car; what if the in-laws don't like you; how will we pay for the kids' college; falling off the top of a train in India; "javelin through the neck!"; going camping and redneck killers slice through the tent and murder you; dwindling arts funding; etc. etc.

Well I have to say that this next one is PRETTY BAD and I would've lived a fine life if I had never known this was possible!

Say you're sitting at your desk typing away on your computer and your nose starts running, so you wipe it with a nasal tissue (no brand names in this particular post, thank you - however "nasal tissue" sounds really gross, it can't be right) but your nose keeps running and IT TURNS OUT THAT IT'S SPINAL FLUID DRIPPING OUT OF YOUR NOSE BECAUSE YOU TORE YOUR DURA (the sort of wrapper that goes around your spine) WHILE FILMING A VIOLENT INTERROGATION SCENE FOR YOUR LATEST MOVIE.

This happened to George Clooney, the poor fellow. GOOD GRIEF! I can't stop thinking about it. Blech!