Dramatic Car Maneuvers

Omaha, Monday Dec. 26, 2005 - Today two sisters acheived a marvelous feat of automobile maneuvering in an attempt to get to the Hy-Vee Supermarket on 108th & Fort in order to provide dinner for their families.

The two women, Blade and Momster, had planned to make a Mexican feast: chicken enchiladas, black beans, guacamole, green salad, an appetizer of 6-layer dip and mojitos.

"I love 6-layer dip," said Blade.

Their husbands and Momster / JJS's children went to Borders book store to spend the gift cards they'd received from Santa the previous day. The sisters were happy to go to the grocery store instead of Borders.

"I was excited because if my daughters are at Borders instead of Hy-Vee, I can get a regular cart instead of one of those car carts," Momster said. "I mean I'm just saying. It's a little bit easier, you know?"

After the boys and girls left, the sisters went to get in the car Blade was borrowing from her (and Momster's) parents.

"Every Christmas my parents loan me their second car so I can drive around Omaha," said Blade. "Their car is awesome because it has heated seats."

Blade's parents' car was parked in Momster's driveway in the spot behind Momster's car, which was parked in their 2-car garage. The husbands had taken the minivan, which had been parked in the other side of the 2-car garage.

Alas! Blade reached into her coat pocket to get the car keys, and in a sudden flash she remembered that Pete had driven home last night and he still had the car keys.

"Crap!" the sisters said.

Blade eyeballed the space between her parents' car and the garage door.

"I bet we can get the other car out of the garage by going around this car. Let's open the garage and check it out," she said.

They opened the garage door and studied the situation, which was like this:

"It will totally be like getting out of a tight parallel parking space," Blade told Momster. And Momster was convinced.

Momster hopped into her car in the garage and soon was working on a back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, trying to get the car out of the garage without hitting the other car in the driveway or scraping along the garage wall. Blade stayed outside to offer directions.

Soon the sisters were faced with this situation:


Momster rolled down the window. "Am I stuck?" she yelled. When Blade realized that yes, Momster was stuck, she laughed the hardest she's ever laughed in her life, and she bent over in stomach pain from the laughter.

"Yes you are stuck!" Blade said. She envisioned the boys and girls returning from Borders to find the car diagonally stuck, half in, half out of the garage.

That's when Jeannie, the master of car maneuvering, appeared. Jeannie cleans Momster's house once a week. She had heard the laughter and came outside to investigate.

"I love this kind of shit," Jeanie said. "We're going to get you out of here."

And Jeanie did. She and Blade had to move an old freezer and some bags of gravel that were in the way and finally after about 20 minutes of back and forth, sometimes only 2 inches at a time, Momster and the car were free to go to Hy-Vee.

The sisters spent several minutes laughing their asses off at the thought of being stuck, and then at the thought of the husbands coming home and being so baffled at how they had gotten the car out of the garage?!

"We pictured them pulling into the garage in the minivan, and seeing the other side of the garage was empty, but that my parents' car was behind that spot," Blade said. "We knew they would go insane wondering about it!"

However the boys did not notice at all. They and the children went in the house without noticing anything was amiss. The sisters told them the story when they got home, but the husbands didn't seem too impressed.

"We thought JJS [pictured at left] and Pete would freak out or at least laugh hard when we told them about it," said Momster. "But they were kind of just like, whatever."

The sisters didn't care though. They knew how farkin' funny it really was and that evening they drank mojitos to celebrate their spectacular feat.

Oh and the Mexican feast was SO FREAKIN' GOOD too.

-- Momster contributed to this report. Blade provided her drawings from the scene.