Crabby Pants / Figurative Crabbiness Reliever
I'm a crabby pants today and I was trying to visualize a way to stop the crabbiness and a cool thing that came to mind is to shake up a can of Coke (or any brand) and then chuck it against the wall and watch it explode!
Does that make me a violent person? I would never actually do it, although in high school I chucked FW's Dickens book against the creative writing room wall until it was in tatters and he got really mad so I had to take it up to our teacher and say I did it and repay the cost. That was the first time FW ever got mad at me. I learned from that it's not nice to be destructive.
Some other less satisfying ideas:
1. poke a cereal box with a pin.
Actually that's it. I went stright from the cereal box to the can of Coke.
posted by bladio @ 1:52 PM
10 Comments:
It's easy to get rid of the crabbiness.
1. Dial any number at random.
2. Wait for person to answer (no voicemail/answering machine).
3. Shout complete gibberish into the phone.
4. Hang up.
5. Start laughing visualizing the perplexed, blinking person still holding a phone.
music is a good cure for the crabs. either something really loud and destructive (nine inch nails) - something sad and touchy feely (death cab) - or something up beat and funky (beastie boys!)
Poking a cereal box with a pin! What a tiny little tender crabby pastime! I love that one, though I can see where it doesn't satisfy.
I used to rip up tape cases when I was crabby in college. But there aren't any tapes anymore.
According to Mr. Krabs on SpongBob Squarepants, money, and lots of it, is the cure for everything. So, maybe you should open up a shop selling Krabbie Patties and charge exhorbitant prices. You could even be crabby in the process. Like, "No Krabbie Pattie for YOU!"
you should throw the soda can. maybe not in your living room though.
Breaking things is really fun and therapeutic! There is a bar where you can pay to break plates! I think that bar is in China, so that isn’t really practical but you could go to a thrift shop and buy a few dollars worth of old dishes and break those! (Be sure to use protective eyewear!) The clean up is the lame part.
Also, we like to smash our pumpkins in the driveway after Halloween. :) I also like to take fragile things to the dump and chuck them in! A few years back we replaced all of the toilets in the old house and I got the throw the old ones in the dump. They shatter really well!
Please don't throw the coke can at your living room wall, then you will be doubly crabby for the mess.
How about throwing the can off your balcony?
In Chicago you can get under the el tracks and yell really loudly and that feels good. Your monorail might be too swift and silent for good yelling.
I asked Simon what Carolyn should do if she feels crabby. He said: Um she should eat a crab. Watie says if you feel crabby take a bath with butter and salt as everything is more delicious that way. Simon says, Yeah, what papa said, he is right.
But me, I think ice cream and swearing loudly would probably help me get rid of it. Then a bath with soothing Lush bath products, a candle and some booze...
Ah booze.
kww
you could shake up all the cans in the second floor fridge, then lie in wait for some thirsty chump to open one all over him/her-self, and jump out from behind the thing you're hiding behind and be all "HA!"
I like to shout and point and pout.
Why did you tear up fw's Dickens?
and i commiserate with Tina - I used to throw tape cases against the wall. They would shatter in a satisfying way. Now though we know plastic packaging is bad and there are no more tapes, so i guess poking cereal must suffice.
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