Kilo Candy

A couple weeks ago Pete and I had CNN on so we could keep tabs on some election returns. I think it was a Saturday, because the CNN folks weren't the usual suspects like Anderson Cooper, Larry King, and those people whose faces I recognize but don't know their names (like that guy who uses his finger to draw green on that fancy screen). It must have been the Saturday of the Washington caucus.

Anyway we had CNN on and we were doing other things, although I can't remember what, maybe I was reading the newspaper or something. The CNN anchor seemed kind of silly, and I said to Pete, "that guy's weird" and he agreed. He kept being weird and I kept noticing that he was weird. Not insanely, over-the-top weird, more like a car salesman than an anchor.

I looked up at the screen at one point and said, "His name is Kilo Candy! No wonder he's weird!" and we were both like OMG Kilo ["ky-low"] Candy! So weird! Except that lasted for only about 30 seconds, because it turns out that wasn't his name on the text bar below his face, it was the headline for the next story, which was about cocaine disguised as candy. So it was kilo pronounced "kee-low".

I still don't know the anchor's name but he will forever be Kilo Candy to me.

Coach Canada

I am in Canada for work. I'm writing this in my hotel room, in Word, because this hotel is old fashioned and only has a hard-wired Internet connection, and the cord won't reach to the bed.

I am watching "Coach", that show from the late 80's. The only reason I'm watching it is because in between scenes, they use shots of the University of Iowa to represent the fictional Minnesota State University (my friend Shannon told me this back when we went there). I'm on my second episode and so far I've seen Quad (not "the Quad," just "Quad") which is a dorm on the other side of the river where my friend Jon F lived, and the Pentacrest. The Pentacrest is not related to the devil, it's these 5 old buildings that form the core of campus. Did you know that the main character, Hayden Fox, is named in honor of Iowa football coach legend Hayden Fry? One of Hayden Fry's famous sayings is "Scratch where it itches" which I love! What a funny thing to say, and imagine that being your famous quote! (Credit to jonnynono who first told me this quote.) Also, when I was at Iowa there was this thing going on with Hayden's moustache. Sometimes when he had a moustache they would win a few, so he would keep it, then if they lost he would shave it, and on and on. It was very exciting and made football news interesting for a person who didn't really care about football at that time i.e. me. Side note, Craig T. Nelson's character doesn't seem like Hayden Fry at all. This fictional coach is very silly. For example, right now he's at a sleep clinic in his boxer shorts with a swimming cap on his head, hooked up to electrodes, trying to learn why he snores. He made reference to his junk, too! Oh geez! Now he's all tangled up with Luther in a single bed. I don't think Hayden Fry would be in such a silly situation.

In other Canada news, I am sad for the folks here – according to the TV commercials playing every 5 minutes, they are just now getting the stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut. I know this has been in the U.S. since at least 1998. (I know this because it was around this time that KWW, Watie and I drove to Minneapolis and stopped for the night in Story City, Iowa, and Katie called the local pizza place [not Pizza Hut] and asked, "Do you have the ring of cheese?" They did not, and as a matter of fact, they were closed. This is the same night that Paolo the dog had a wink all night due to a toy that inadvertently landed close to his eye. His eye was ok the next day.) Anyway, maybe this is the second round for the "ring of cheese" in Canada, I will check with Shafty as long as he hasn't forgotten all his Canadian history while studying for the U.S. citizenship exam.

Ok I’m going to plug in and post this now. But one last thing – in their commercials they say "withoot" etc. Ha ha! Canadians are so cute!

mistaken identity

yesterday i had this weird IM conversation. i have an IM contact with the same last name as my friend aaron (let's say it's "bloop"), and i don't know how he became my contact, but we had never communicated before.

aaron, not sure if you read this blog, but if so, hello!

also, you need to know that next to my IM, my special message is "Bob Loblaw" who's a character from Arrested Development.

you will notice the point where i suddenly felt very weird!!!

Ron Bloop says: I LOVE Bob Loblaw. That is the funniest show ever. This is Michael though, not Ron.
Blade says: michael bluth?
Ron Bloop says: I want to be president of the company!!!!!!
Ron Bloop says: You back on the McCain wagon now?
Blade says: i don't know how to say this, but i'm not sure who you are. i know an aaron Bloop but not a ron Bloop.
Ron Bloop says: This is Michael. I am working on Ron's computer. Ron is my Dad. You have met him. He plays guitar and eats alot.
Blade says: are you related to aaron?
Ron Bloop says: Wait - is this not Blade [other last name]???
Ron Bloop says: I think one of Aaron's friends got on my Dad's IM - Sorry. Aaron is my brother.
Blade says: oh!
Blade says: i'm blade miller
Blade says: i used to work with aaron
Ron Bloop says: Sorry about that. I'll fix the IM.
Blade says: that's ok!

McCain wagon! Red flag! Red flag!

I don't talk politics on my blog or actually much in real life, so I will just say, I'm not on the McCain wagon.

I should add that politics freak me out in general, so it the red flag was partially that it was McCain and partially that suddenly the conversation had turned to politics.

Yours,
Blade