awesome

Check this out. You can have this company create secret passageways in your house. i.e. flipping bookcase, etc.

Starting at a mere $10,000. Oh man when I'm a zillionaire I'm totally going to have secret passageways.

My Cube

Now that I have a Webcam at work I see my cube a bit differently. I look at it through the cam and everything is chopped up and weird. Here are some of the pieces:

1. Still Life With Tape Dispenser, Caltrate, and Family



2. Penguin and Library



3. New Cheery Desk Lamp



4. Still Life with Nuts, Light Bulb Package, and Edge of Nalgene Bottle



5. Keeping the Customer Top of Mind

At Work

This is what you would see if you stopped by my desk in the morning. There's drip coffee in that cup. If you stop by in the afternoon you would see the same thing, but there would be green tea in the cup instead of coffee.

The Travelling Crock of Macaroni and Cheese

So I got married last summer to Pete, the coolest nicest man you will ever meet, also he is cute and sometimes his hair is funny.

KWW was my matron of honor and this post is about her spectacular execution of duties, above and beyond. First of all I was KWW's maid of honor back in 1998 (right?). It was super fun. That's a whole post in itself so hey let's focus on MY WEDDING for crap's sake. (I used to work with this guy who would always say "for crap's sake!" and when he was upset or annoyed he would mumble, "crappin', crappin'…")

The night before the big day, I slept at the hotel with KWW, her husband Watie (who was also our ceremony officiant, and oh yeah he did a kick-ass job too) and their cool son Simon (incidentally, our top-notch ring bearer). They had a suite and I slept in one side and they slept in the other. My dress was hanging up high on the doorframe so I admired it with one sleepy eye all night. Oh did I mention that my dress was the most farkin cool dress ever in the world? In the morning we ordered room service. I think some bacon was involved, and for sure some eggs.

I put on a shirt with a zipper that KWW had bought for the occasion. You see, you don't want to get your hair done while wearing a t-shirt. Because then when it's time to take off your t-shirt to put your dress on, you are hosed, because that action will screw up your magical bridal hairdo. Katie and I marched down the block with my veil to get my hair done.

There was a minor glitch at the hair place. I had had a practice hairdo a couple weeks prior by someone named Renee. The deal is you do the practice with the person, they take pictures, they remember what they did in practice, and then they recreate it on the big day and it's totally perfect. Well Renee was sick on the actual day! I was scared but it turned out fine. I mean, what the substitute lady did was not the exact same but it was still nice. Okay awesome:

Oh so then we went back to the hotel. During this time, Pete was hanging out with Slick, David and Jen. They ate eggs at Zeena's and talked about freezer jam.

At the hotel we ordered room service lunch. I can't remember what my actual lunch was but we did order a crock of macaroni and cheese on the side. But I got too nervous to eat the macaroni and cheese. It was suddenly time to get dressed and take off to meet Pete and Slick at the Japanese Gardens for pre-ceremony photos.

I need to pause here and say that I'm not accustomed to staying at the Grand Hyatt Seattle and ordering room service. So when I tell you of the luxury to follow – perhaps because of my fancy blogio, you view me as some sort of grande dame eating bon-bons and reading that one magazine I can't think of the name of – Town & Country? – but really I'm just a regular ol' white middle-class schmo. And yet, according to KWW and her amazing mom, I am worthy of traveling around Seattle in a town car driven by a Russian named Alex.

I KNOW! You can't believe it, right?

Well I put on my dress and makeup and everything. Katie wore her regular clothes with the intention of changing later. And we bopped on down to the Hyatt drop-off to hop into the town car.

KWW was fully prepared with a supply of treats, chiefly champagne. She had a special champagne glass for me that lit up. Like, it had batteries in it and it glowed blue. So cool. (I still have it.) We traveled in air-conditioned style to the Japanese Gardens and on the way she showed me – dun dun dun dun! – the crock of macaroni and cheese.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the post could end right here with that sentence. What kind of wonderful person would pack a crock of macaroni and cheese into the bride's survival kit?

Well KWW of course, that's who.

But as long as we're this far, let me continue. I was too nervous to eat. I saw Pete in his tux, what a handsome groom. We did photos. It was hot. It was annoying to stand in the sun and smile for hours. Finally we were done and on the way to the wedding site.

There were more photos at the wedding site. Ugh. It got old fast. The photos, that is, not the rest of the fun. And FINALLY it was time to hide in the back and wait for the whole freakin thing to begin!

Oh and guess what? Guess who was hungry for a snack? ME! And guess who had a snack on hand? KWW! And guess what it was! Well macaroni and cheese of course! The bridal party hung around in our special room drinking champagne (courtesy of our awesome wedding site) and single-malt Scotch whisky (um, was it Macallan?) and eating macaroni and cheese. I ate some, and I know my nieces, the excellent flower girls, ate some. Not sure who else.

But what I have to say to all of you out there is when considering folks for your maid or matron of honor, please consider how long they're willing to tote around a crock of macaroni and cheese – WITHOUT YOU ASKING – and then make your decision carefully.

Some other day I'll tell you other wedding stories.

I've Got My Eye On You

So Cool

Check out this Automated Bar, it is so cool. Be sure to watch the little movie of it in action.

Thanks to Nuclear Toast!

Reader Poll

Here's a poll for you, my dear readers. The question is:

Put yourself in this situation. Every time you go out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner with your partner, significant other and/or spouse, that person leaves the table (presumably to visit the restroom). Sometimes this happens 10 minutes after leaving home. Important note: this happens EVERY TIME at EVERY MEAL.

How would you feel about this? Here is the scale.

1 - Very happy.
2 - Somewhat happy.
3 - Neutral / who cares.
4 - Somewhat annoyed.
5 - Pissed.
6 - Depressed.
7 - Lonely.
8 - Worried that something was wrong with the person.
9 - Exasperated.
10 - I would blow a gasket and leave the restaurant in revenge.

Thanks in advance for your participation!!

--Blade

Pine-Peld

Often when I'm driving home from work I think of different things to blog about. One day I was thinking of a post wherein I list my favorite Seinfeld moments (not episodes, MOMENTS). Part of the challenge I thought of for myself was to list them without using any resources such as Web sites or looking at my Seinfeld DVD boxes.

I only got as far as one idea, which is when Elaine throws George's toupee out the window of Jerry's apartment. Ha ha ha! I thought but then I was at the end of the exit ramp leading from 520 West to the arboretum. It's a T-intersection and there are always a variety of assholes in cars who don't understand the "take turns" part of an all-way stop so I always need to focus really hard there.

Needless to say I lost my blog concentration and didn't get to think of any other Seinfeld moments.

But guess the fark what?? Guess what episode was playing on syndication that night? Oh yeah that's right bucko, it was the one where Elaine throws George's toupee out the window of Jerry's apartment!!

Here are some other favorite moments:
1. When George bites into an onion because he thinks it's an apple (he doesn't have his glasses on).
2. When Joe DaVola is dressed as a clown and he asks Kramer if he's afraid of clowns and Kramer says "yeah".
3. When George is wearing ladies' glasses and Kramer is holding a bag of chips and he points it at George and says, "Chip, madam?"*
4. When Newman looks at Kramer and sees a turkey with Kramer's head on it.
5. When Mr. Petermann thinks Elaine is a junkie and says some funny word like "jojo" to refer to hard drugs.
6. When Elaine is discussing a name change with her beau, and he suggests "Stewart" and she makes weird movements and talks about little Stewie looking for his mother.

That's how hard it is without any resources - I can't think of anything else but I know there are tons.

* Remember, FW, that I have to do this without any resources!

hazards of dating

Here's a story about a lady who went out with a super nice guy, then "Googled" him, and found out he was a wanted man.

To me the funniest things about this story are the mug shot of the man (PLEASE LOOK AT IT), and the fact that the motto of the NBC affiliate in Knoxville, TN, is "Straight from the Heart".

Your Friend And Ours, on TV

Please watch In Justice (starring Kyle MacLachlan) on ABC, March 17 at 9 PM (8 PM central). Our good friend David Vegh is in this episode. You may remember David as Paratrooper Oliver from Saving Private Ryan, as well as his poignant roles in Gray's Anatomy, Chicago Hope, and of course, our wedding.

Commute

Last night my drive home from work took 3 hours. The best time I've ever achieved with my commute is 15 minutes, and my average is about 45 minutes, so obviously 3 hours is intolerable.

The weather people in town have been warning of a WINTER BLAST since Tuesday. For those of you who don't live in Seattle, a "winter blast" here means the temperature gets down into the high 20's, it's really windy, and there's a possibility of the remotest kind that it might snow 1/2 an inch.

It actually did get slightly wintry yesterday, with some rain, and then the wind really picked up, so much so that they closed the 520 bridge across Lake Washington, which is how I get home. The 520 is a crappy old bridge, so crappy that they have to close it when it's windy. I guess because it will blow right off the lake? Anyway they also have to open the drawbridge to ease the pressure from the lake waves and the wind. I have never seen it open and I have always wondered what it looks like when it's open. Is it tilty like the Fremont Bridge? Does it swing out like this one bridge in Portland? Well I still don't know how it works but here's what it looks like in case you're interested:

I don't know how that could possibly work. It sorta looks like the Safeco Field roof. Does anyone know?

They ended up leaving it closed all night because a bolt broke and it was a safety issue. Please don't tell my mom about this bridge or else she'll faint at the thought of me crossing it twice daily. There was a possibility it would be closed for this morning's rush hour but it was open which is good because I hadn't preared a plan B.

Anyway I had left work at 4:30 and was in stop-and-go traffic and i inched around this curve in the road and saw a sign that said "bridge closed" and right then they said it on the radio too. I had a variety of choices. Turn back and go back to work? Go shopping and out to dinner in Bellevue? I even thought about calling up Ash and Small Fish because they live in Bellevue, but then I remembered they were out eating nachos for Ash's b-day.

Instead I just stuck it out and took I-90. I could have seen two 90-minute movies during that time, watched 4 episodes of "24" on DVD, or driven to Portland.

Lullaby

Sometimes I put Sally on her back in my lap and rock her like a little baby and sing songs to her. I know that's really corny but I really like doing it and she seems to enjoy it. I usually do it when Pete's not home and I always sing something by [you will find out at the end of this post] because Pete does not care at all for that person.

But the other day I was doing this rock-a-bye baby thing while he was in the other room, and he came out and said:

"Are you singing Beyoncé to Sally?"

This was a very weird question, as I don't know any Beyoncé songs. I said no and that was the end of the story until this morning when I asked Pete, "Why did you think I was singing Beyoncé?" and he said, "I don't know. I couldn't really hear it but it seemed overly sentimental." Then he asked me who it was and I said, "I'm not going to tell you, you'll have to read it on my blog."

I was singing "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" by Sir Elton John. It's Sally's favorite song. She has inherited the "love EJ" genes from my side of the family.

Foods

Here are my favorite foods at my favorite places around town.

-- Singapore Noodles with Chicken at Noodle Ranch
-- One Small Bean Burrito and One Guacamole Enchalada (add Sour Cream) at El Gallito
-- Seven-Flavor Beef and/or Panang Curry at Wild Ginger
-- Macaroni and Cheese and/or Red Beans & Rice at the Kingfish Cafe
-- House Special Chicken at Uptown China
-- Chicken Korma and/or Saag Paneer (add Naan) at Maharaja
-- Steak and Baked Potato at Jak's
-- Steak and Baked Potato at Metropolitan Grill
-- Hot Fudge Sundae at Coastal Kitchen
-- Pizza at Bill's
-- Pizza at Piecora's
-- Snackiness at the Rocksport
-- Super Veggie Burrito in Whole Wheat Tortilla (sans cheese) at Taco Del Mar
-- Macaroni and Cheese and/or Curried Chicken Salad and/or Cabbage Crunch at Whole Foods
-- Fettucine Carbonara at Palermo
-- Scrambled Eggs (Eggbeaters), Hash Browns and Toast at Zeena's
-- Guacamole Bacon Burger at Red Robin
-- Grilled Cheese and Fries at Canterbury Ales & Eats
-- Breakfast Sandwich (Egg, Cheese, Sausage on English Muffin) at Starbucks
-- Cap'n Basket at Emmet Watson's Oyster Bar

I don't have strict favorites at these places but I'll go anytime:
-- Dahlia Lounge
-- Serafina

Places I've never been:
-- Cafe Juanita
-- Campagne
-- Chez Shea
-- The Melting Pot
-- Canlis

Am I forgetting anything?

[EDIT]

I need to add the filet at Ruth's Cris Steak House, which is served on a platter of SIZZLING BUTTER, yes you heard me. Just as you hear the butter sizzling as the waiter brings it to you from across the room.

Also I really like the food at Linda's.

News from NY #4: Foreign Substances

FW and I were at the Bull Moose Saloon (354 W. 44th St. between 8th & 9th Ave.) and there was a weird thing in my Maker's glass. FW asked what it was and I said,

"It wasn't a bug or a piece of wood."

Very reassuring.

I'm headed to Seattle tomorrow. As much as I've loved NY this trip, I am glad to be going home.

Also, the skin behind my left knee hurts.

News from NY #3: Book Report

When I was in high school I was fascinated by New York City life, and New England as well so I read whatever fiction I could that took place there. I've liked Jay McInerney's writing for a long time (not sure how much I like him as a person but whatever). I am not sure how he's seen in the greater literary universe although I remember one of my creative writing teachers in college saying he is crap.*

Anyway he has a new book out called The Good Life and because it's been so long since I've read anything by him, I bought it in hardback. I'm reading it this trip because I thought it'd be appropriate to read it in NY since it takes place here.

As I started reading it I realized that some of the characters are the same as one of his previous books, Brightness Falls. I don't remember much about that book, other than really loving it, and of course -- bizarrely enough -- the characters' names. I mean, if you had asked me last week, "What are the characters' names?" I would have been like "Fark if I know!" but when I saw them on the page this past Sunday they rang familiar, although it took me a while to figure it out. I read it back in 1993 (I had to look up the copyright date for that) and reading about these people again gave me a weird collegey feeling, back when literature and writing were all that mattered to me. And having fun of course.

So, The Good Life is about the same characters ten years older, with kids now, living in Manhattan. And then Sept. 11 happens. I don't read reviews until after I finish a book so I don't know what folks are thinking about this i.e. is it too soon to write about Sept. 11? Is he profiting from it? From my perspective, it's well written. Then again obviously I don't live in New York. I wonder what people who lived through it here think.

Anyway the conference I'm here for is several blocks away from where I'm staying so as I walk to the conference I try to imagine what it was like on that day and days afterwards. I'm in mid-town (not near the World Trade Center) but I still try to imagine. What's kind of weird to me is that reading about it through fictional characters' eyes somehow makes it more real, like I'm living it, or closer to it, than seeing the tragedy on the news, reading about real people, seeing photos.

I wonder what that means? Am I bonkers?

* I'm putting this out there in case any of you think he is crap, you can comment to that end and I won't cry, I love a good discussion. For some reason, I've been racking (sp?) my brain why, I have a feeling that The Great Rambini thinks JMcI is crap. I wonder if he said something like that once, or if I'm just projecting, because I know he has refined taste, and I can envision him seeing through JMcI for a load of crap? Hmmm.

p.s. I've never read Ransom.

News from NY #2: Lush Life

Since I'm here on business I get to stay at a fancy hotel: the Westin in Times Square. I'm on the 35th floor and my room faces east. I sleep with the curtains open so at night I can see the lights from neighboring buildings, and in the morning the sun rises slowly through the window for a bit of a gentle wake-up call.

The shower is the best in the whole world. It has two shower heads and the water sort of rains down. The bed is also awesome. If you are rich, you should stay here in NY.

I ordered room service for breakfast: an omelette with ham, cheese and spinach and a bottle of fizzy water with lime (no squirting incidents so far). Now I'm off to the conference which means walking through the bitter cold. Tomorrow it's supposed to snow.

I know this is not a very exciting post, but I figured I needed to get another one out there before I come home on Friday, or else I'd have to edit the title of my last post to get rid of the "#1".