Summer Vacation

Pete & I are going on vacation.

Here's a hint as to where we're going:
Which celebrity asked his Homecoming date, "Wot would you like for dinnorrr?"

We are going to the homeland of that person.

See you next month!

confused

There is a guy at my office who wore a t-shirt that said: "I like my women like I like my coffee."

What does this mean? Am I dense or am I supposed to know what this means?

It gives me a weird feeling!!!

My dream came true

Remember back in March when I had a dream that someone had a butt that looked like boobs? Well my dream came true on Saturday. We were at the solstice parade and we saw a naked bicyclist who had big nipples on their butt. Too bad I wasn't fast enough to get a photo to show all of you.

Update to #13 below

I found the drawing I referred to in #13 below. Here is what happened. There was a scandal at work involving "Geebo" (not his real name). I saw Geebo in the kitchen at work. When I got back to my desk I IM'd mosugs and said, I saw Geebo in the kitchen. And she IM'd, how did he seem? And I wrote:


I would have just forgotten about it except mosugs made that pic her IM pic and now whenever I see Geebo I think of that little drawing and it makes me giggle.

bleah

I have the Monday blues today. So here are some happy things. Maybe the action of listing them will cheer me up.

1. New taco bar at my office cafeteria (including liquid cheese!)
2. Because of exercise, my body age is now 36 instead of 51 (which is what it was in early December).
3. The way Sally runs really fast through the house if she gets her hands (er, teeth) on a stray sock or underwear.
4. Pete and his funny hair.
5. Food Network.
6. New car with MP3 jack and rear windshield wiper.
7. Upcoming Scotland trip.
8. Sleeping late.
9. Upcoming FW / Bog Face nuptuals.
10. Upcoming Dup Jr. arrival.
11. Pete's salad-making skillz.
12. The time I poured way too much Scotch for Rodley and my parents told their friends not to mess with her because she's from a logging family.
13. Whenever I see this one guy I work with, I picture this little drawing I did in an IM conversation with mosugs when she asked how he was after I saw him in the kitchen.
14. The way Pete likes to tell everyone about the Cardio Theater at my gym.
15. Coffee.
16. The movie Knocked Up - omg you have to see it!!!!!
17. Sally.
18. Late at night, sitting on the front porch of the ranch with willis back in the day when we would get home from our activities.
19. Upcoming visit from the Whites.
20. When The Great Rambini said, you know what's my favorite part of "The Piano"? and I said in a creepy voice, Naked (phonetically, "nayyy-kid"). (I was reminded of this on Saturday when everyone was naked in Fremont.)
21. The time when KWW and I were kids and we went to the Fantastiks for her birthday and there was an alien-head guy sitting in front of us and we giggled and giggled. Dude his head was totally like E.T.!!!
22. Happy Anniversary momster and jonnynono!!!!!

Well I could go on and on but I have to get back to work.

Sometimes

I see someone and I think they look weird, but then they speak and have an accent, it turns out they're from Europe. And once I know they're from Europe they don't look weird anymore, they just look European.

What's up with that? I know it's not just me because I have talked about this with 2 people and the same thing happens to them.

Who said?

Who said:

"I've always wanted a rubber band ball and now I have one."

In other news here's our wet dog after a hike on Sunday. She may look miserable to you but she did in fact have a blast sniffing like a nut through the forest.

meme pt. III

I have been tagged by Gallivanting Monkey to tell 3 fantasies about myself if I were a "total, unbelievable success. Like the hero of all future reunions." Here is the final entry in this series.

After many years of dinking around I finally get back to writing. Really writing. I write every day. I finish short stories. I share them with Pete. I send them to FW for his feedback. I send them to my former writing TA's. I send my stories out to literary magazines and one of them gets published. It's well-received and gets included in one of those Best Short Stories of the Year anthologies. I get an agent. I get a book of short stories published. It's not a best-seller by any means but it's well-received and gets some positive reviews. I go on a book tour and do a reading at the University of Iowa Library in that little auditorium where I used to go to readings. [I think this is not technically possible, because I think they re-did the library or something.]

I return home and start a novel. I've never written a novel. But after a long time and a lot of hard, frustrating work, and with the assistance of Tina as my ad-hoc editor, I finish it. It gets published too. Again, not a best-seller but well-received.

Of course in the meantime, I am having a jolly time at home with Pete and Sally and our two kids.

In an exciting twist of fate, Alexander Payne decides he wants to make a movie of my novel. So I go to Hollywood to advise on the film. He writes the screenplay and I approve wholeheartedly. The movie stars Meryl Streep (dude I can't help it! I love her!), Kate Winslet, Keri Russell, Larry David (he plays the funny friend!), Mark Ruffalo, and Christian Bale. I have a small cameo in the film as well even with a couple lines! (Sally gets a cameo too!) I get to hang out on the set and it's SO FUCKING AWESOME. I even get to have lunch with Jennifer Garner and she invites me over to her house and we talk about exercise and nutrition and other fun things.

My success doesn't go to my head. I'm still the same old Blade.

Special thanks to mosugs for her assistance with this post.

Now time to tag some of my pals! Will the following bloggers please write 3 fantasies about yourself:

-- KWW
-- themeredoerr
-- Momster
-- jonnynono
-- mosugs
-- Ash
-- DK
-- Dangles